Why can’t I stop overacting?

In intense moments, it’s completely normal to feel a whirlwind of emotions. Fear, anger, joy, and sadness can all surface during those moments. These intense feelings are part of our human experience, rooted in our instincts and life stories. Yet, there are times when this emotional tide can feel overwhelming and might threaten to steer our thoughts and actions.

By embracing the journey of emotional awareness, we open the door to personal growth and a more balanced, fulfilling life. When we allow ourselves to feel emotions while learning to navigate them genuinely, we enhance our relationships, sharpen our decision-making skills, and create a more harmonious existence. Cultivating emotional awareness and noticing when our feelings begin to rise can empower us to develop effective strategies for managing them.

Although the journey may be challenging, since exploring our emotions can feel intimidating and leave us feeling vulnerable, learning to embrace emotional control is achievable, even if it doesn’t come naturally. Let’s delve deeper into emotional regulation, how to manage our emotions, and ways to gain control over our feelings in the moment.

Emotional awareness and self-regulation

When confronted with challenging situations, individuals who have developed strong emotional control possess the ability to respond with clarity, composure, and maturity. This skill allows them to navigate difficult circumstances effectively, transforming potential obstacles into valuable opportunities for personal growth and development.

Mastering emotional regulation contributes to our well-being but also empowers individuals to maintain a steadier state of mind. By cultivating emotional stability, we reduce our vulnerability to stress, which can have detrimental effects on both our physical and mental health. Moreover, the ability to manage emotions enhances personal resilience, enabling us to bounce back more swiftly from adversity. This resilience, in turn, enriches our interactions with others, contributing to healthier relationships and deeper connections.

Signs your emotions may be taking over

It’s completely normal to question your emotions from time to time. Taking a step back to reflect on how you feel demonstrates self-awareness. Once you begin to identify and express your emotions, you’ll be better equipped to manage them effectively when they arise.

If you’ve experienced these feelings, consider incorporating emotional regulation techniques into your daily routine to help you feel more centered:

• You find it difficult to calm down after a stressful event, lingering in feelings of anger, sadness, or frustration.
• Your mood shifts rapidly from happiness to deep sadness.
• Small disagreements escalate into arguments or emotional outbursts.
• You struggle to think clearly or complete tasks because you feel overwhelmed by your emotions and dwell on your thoughts.
• You feel ashamed or embarrassed after losing control during an interaction.
• You’ve said hurtful things in the heat of the moment that you can’t remember.
• Friends or loved ones hesitate to invite you out due to concerns about past behaviors.
• You use substances or alcohol to improve your mood or calm down.

Taking the time to reflect on these moments can lead to a greater understanding of your emotions and help you cultivate better control and awareness.

Proven strategies to manage difficult emotions

Recent research has identified three distinct approaches to emotional regulation, illuminating the diversity of individual responses to emotional challenges. This underscores the significance of personal differences—what may be effective for one individual may not yield the same results for another, which is entirely acceptable.

Let us examine the three prevalent strategies that individuals employ to effectively manage their emotions during difficult periods:

1. Mindfulness

Mindfulness involves observing emotions as they arise, without judgment or attempts to control them. It’s about cultivating present-moment awareness and accepting all experiences, including emotions and how the body responds to them. For example, if feeling anxious, a mindful individual would observe the physical sensations and thoughts associated with anxiety in the present without getting caught up in the emotion by trying to fight or change them. By doing so, we can reduce the intensity of our anxiety and develop a greater sense of calm. Research has shown that mindfulness is usually associated with more positive emotional outcomes.

2. Cognitive reappraisal

Cognitive reappraisal is an empowering strategy for regulating emotions, allowing individuals to reshape their thoughts about a situation to influence their feelings after a positive event. By reinterpreting an event’s importance, we can significantly reduce its emotional weight. Rather than being consumed by strong feelings, cognitive reappraisal invites us to take a step back and view the situation with clarity. A powerful approach to gain this perspective is to consider the event from a third-person viewpoint, focusing on any silver linings or valuable lessons it may offer. Embracing this mindset can lead to growth and a more balanced emotional experience.

3. Emotion suppression

Emotion suppression involves holding back the outward expression of our feelings, such as controlling facial expressions or voice. While this strategy can be useful in certain situations—like during an important meeting or while supporting someone else—it may also lead to negative effects, including heightened physiological responses and diminished overall well-being.

Tips to regain emotional control

Recognizing and naming your emotions is the first step toward transforming them. As feelings intensify, taking prompt action can create a breakthrough and lead to fresh experiences.

Here are some effective strategies you can use right away to regain control and navigate your emotions with confidence:

1. Body Scan. Take a moment to pause and really tune into how your body feels. Create a space where you can observe without judgment. Is your heart racing? Pay attention to how it responds when you take deep, calming breaths. By acknowledging and accepting your body’s reactions, you’ll gain a greater sense of control.
2. Just breathe. Focus on connecting deeply with your body through slow, deep breaths. This simple practice can help reduce your heart rate and ease feelings of anxiety
3. Pull back. When your thoughts are racing and emotions soar, take a deep breath and pause for a moment. This feeling won’t last forever! It’s a great time to reflect on whether you’re getting caught up in your thoughts or seeing the bigger picture. Can you think of a fresh perspective? How would you guide a loved one in your shoes? By taking a step back, you can approach the situation from a new, less destructive angle.
4. Delayed response. Instead of jumping into action when strong emotions arise, give yourself permission to feel them without reacting immediately. Allowing some time for the emotion to settle empowers you to respond more thoughtfully.
5. Opposite action. When your emotions start to feel overwhelming, consider doing the opposite of what they urge you to do. If anger bubbles up and you feel like screaming, try responding with a gentle, calm voice. If sadness hits and makes you want to retreat to bed, embrace movement and go for a walk.
6. Self-talk. When emotions intensify, engage in positive self-talk to shift your mindset. Remind yourself to stay calm and take a moment to consider the response you truly want.
7. Go outward. Get involved with your environment. Utilize all five of your senses to ground yourself in the present. Take note of what you see, hear, smell, touch, and taste. This practice can help you reconnect with the moment.
8. Cope ahead. Thinking about and practicing effective coping strategies like positive self-talk, breath work, and paying attention to your body before situations that you know will be stressful or triggering can help you navigate difficult moments while maintaining your composure.

Engaging with these techniques and putting them into practice can lead to a more peaceful and thoughtful approach to handling your emotions in the moment.

Getting in control of your emotions

Recognizing and managing our emotions is a lifelong journey. Each challenging moment we face offers us the chance to improve our ability to manage our emotions. Although gaining control over our emotions can feel overwhelming at times, it’s absolutely within our reach!

While some may prefer to work through these emotions on their own, seeking support from a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial during tough times. At Rosecrance Therapies, our compassionate therapists are here to guide you and can even connect you with psychiatrists to explore possible underlying, treatable conditions like substance use disorder, ADHD, or borderline personality disorder.

Remember, you’re not alone on this path, and with support, positive change is always possible!