Why the holidays can be difficult for people in recovery

While the holidays can be a time of connection, they can also amplify feelings of isolation and emotional distress. Grief over the loss of a loved one, strained family relationships, financial pressures, and changes in routine can make this time of year particularly challenging.

Social gatherings may introduce additional stress for people in recovery, especially when alcohol or other substances are present. Feeling pressured to participate, explain your sobriety, or meet others’ expectations can make it harder to feel comfortable.

“People in recovery thrive on connection because they have experienced isolation in the past,” said Carlene Cardosi, President of Clinical Services, Chief Operating Officer for Rosecrance Behavioral Health, and President of Rosecrance Therapies. “However, the pressure to celebrate and feel a certain way can unintentionally create stress that actually leads some to feel more isolated at this time of year.”

Remember that you do not have to feel happy, social, or festive just because it is the holiday season. Loneliness and difficult emotions are normal, and experiencing them does not mean you are failing in your recovery.

6 tips for a safe and sober holiday season

Whether you are newly sober or have been in recovery for years, preparing for the holidays can help you manage stress, navigate social situations, and reduce the risk of relapse.

1. Build a strong recovery support network

Connection plays an important role in recovery, particularly during times of stress. Before the holiday season begins, identify the people and resources you can turn to for encouragement or support.

Your support network might include:

• A sponsor or trusted recovery mentor
• Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) meetings
• A therapist, counselor, or treatment provider
• Supportive friends and family members
• Recovery alumni programs and sober community groups

Consider making a list of local and virtual recovery meetings, scheduling check-in calls with a sponsor or loved one, and identifying someone you can contact if you begin to feel overwhelmed.

Rosecrance’s Alumni program also offers virtual and in-person activities that can help individuals in recovery stay connected during the holidays.

2. Make a plan for holiday gatherings

You do not have to avoid every holiday celebration to protect your recovery. However, it is important to be intentional about which events you attend and how you will handle potentially triggering situations.

Before accepting an invitation, consider whether the environment will support your recovery. Think about who will be there, whether substances will be present, and how comfortable you feel setting boundaries.

If you decide to attend, make a plan that includes:

• Arriving with a trusted friend who supports your sobriety
• Deciding in advance how long you plan to stay
• Preparing a response if someone offers you alcohol or other substances
• Identifying a person you can call if you feel uncomfortable
• Giving yourself permission to leave whenever you need to

Having a plan to leave if you feel uncomfortable is a smart way to protect your recovery. If a gathering becomes stressful or puts your sobriety at risk, it’s OK to leave early and take care of yourself.

3. Take control of your transportation

Having a reliable way to leave a holiday event can provide peace of mind and help you stay in control of your recovery.

If possible, drive yourself or arrange transportation through a trusted sober friend, rideshare service, or taxi. If you are attending with someone else, discuss your plans ahead of time so you can leave when necessary.

Avoid relying on someone who may be drinking or using substances to get you home. Knowing you have a safe way to leave can make it easier to set boundaries and respond to uncomfortable situations.

4. Prepare for alcohol and substance-related triggers

Holiday parties and family gatherings often involve alcohol, which can create pressure for people who are working to maintain their sobriety.

One simple strategy is to keep a nonalcoholic beverage in your hand. Having a drink available can help you feel more comfortable socially and reduce the number of times someone offers you an alcoholic beverage.

You can also prepare a few simple responses to questions about drinking or sobriety, such as:

• “I’m not drinking tonight, but thank you.”
• “I’m focusing on my health right now.”
• “I’d prefer something nonalcoholic.”

You do not owe anyone an explanation about your recovery. If a conversation makes you uncomfortable, it is OK to change the subject or step away

5. Create new traditions and find sober ways to connect

If familiar holiday traditions are associated with painful memories, substance use, or difficult relationships, consider creating new ones.

Look for activities that help you feel connected without compromising your recovery. You might volunteer with a community organization, attend a local event, join a sober holiday gathering, explore a hobby, or spend time with people who respect your boundaries.

Recovery meetings and alumni programs may also offer holiday-themed events that help you build friendships and strengthen your support network.

If you receive an invitation to a gathering that feels safe and supportive, consider saying yes, even if socializing feels difficult at first. Small steps toward connection can help reduce isolation over time.

And if you would rather spend some time on your own, that is OK, too. Read a book, prepare a favorite meal, take a walk, or start a tradition that you may eventually share with others.

6. Check in with your mental health and ask for help

The holidays can bring up difficult emotions, even when things appear to be going well. Pay attention to changes in your mood, increased anxiety, persistent sadness, or a growing desire to isolate yourself.

If you notice these changes in yourself, reach out to someone you trust or consider speaking with a mental health professional. You do not have to wait until you are in crisis to ask for help.

The same is true when supporting a friend or loved one. A simple phone call, thoughtful message, or invitation to spend time together can make a difference for someone who may be feeling alone.

If you are concerned that someone is struggling, approach the conversation with compassion and without judgment. Encourage them to seek professional support if their distress persists or becomes difficult to manage.

Rosecrance Access counselors are available at 888.928.5278 to help individuals and families explore support and treatment options for mental health and substance use concerns.

How to support a loved one in recovery during the holidays

You do not have to be a mental health professional to help someone feel less alone during the holiday season. Small, thoughtful gestures can help people in recovery feel supported and included.

Here are a few ways to show up for someone you care about:

• Reach out regularly. A quick call, text, or video chat can remind someone that they are not alone.
• Offer substance-free activities. Suggest a meal, movie night, outdoor activity, or volunteer opportunity that does not revolve around alcohol or other substances.
• Respect their boundaries. Understand that your loved one may decline invitations or leave gatherings early to protect their recovery.
• Avoid putting pressure on them. Do not insist that they participate in traditions or explain personal decisions about sobriety.
• Encourage professional support when needed. If you notice concerning changes in their behavior, offer to help them connect with a counselor or treatment provider.

Your support does not have to be complicated. Often, simply listening and offering a judgment-free space can help someone feel more connected.

Celebrate the holidays on your own terms

The holidays do not have to look a certain way to be meaningful. You may choose to attend celebrations, spend time with a small circle of supportive people, participate in recovery activities, or create a quieter season focused on rest and personal growth.

What matters most is making choices that support your mental health and recovery.

If you are feeling lonely, remember that loneliness is a normal human emotion, not a personal failure. If you are worried about relapse, remember that asking for help is a strength. And if this holiday season looks different from previous years, give yourself permission to embrace that change.

With the right support and healthy boundaries, you can navigate the holidays in a way that protects your recovery and supports your well-being.

If you’re struggling with loneliness, holiday stress, or concerns about relapse, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Rosecrance is here to help you find the support and resources you need to move forward.