How to cope with the holiday blues

The holiday season is often portrayed as a time of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many people, the reality can be more complicated.

Between busy schedules, family gatherings, financial pressures, and expectations to make everything feel special, the holidays can quickly become overwhelming.

For others, this time of year brings feelings of loneliness, grief, or sadness. You may be celebrating your first holiday without a loved one, navigating a major life change, or struggling with your mental health or substance use recovery. Even traditions that once brought happiness can feel different when circumstances change.

If you find yourself feeling less than cheerful during the holidays, you are not alone. The holiday blues are common, and you don’t have to force yourself to feel happy just because it is supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year.

The holidays don’t have to feel overwhelming. With a few small adjustments, you can ease some of the stress and make more room for what helps you feel your best.

What are the holiday blues?

The holiday blues are temporary feelings of sadness, stress, loneliness, or anxiety that can occur during the holiday season. They may stem from specific events, difficult memories, changes in routine, or pressure to meet personal and family expectations.

Several factors can contribute to the holiday blues, including:

• Grief and loss. Holidays can bring painful reminders of loved ones who have passed away or are no longer part of our lives.
• Increased stress. Shopping, travel, social commitments, and financial concerns can make an already busy time of year feel overwhelming.
• Unrealistic expectations. Movies, advertisements, and social media often portray perfect celebrations, creating pressure to feel happy and make everything look effortless.
• Changes in routine. Colder weather, shorter days, less physical activity, and disrupted sleep schedules can affect our mood and energy.
• Family challenges and loneliness. Gatherings may bring tension or difficult relationships, while others may feel isolated when they cannot spend time with family or friends.
• Mental health and substance use challenges. Stressful situations and social pressure can make it more difficult to manage symptoms or maintain recovery.

The holiday blues can affect anyone, not just people with a diagnosed mental health or substance use disorder. Recognizing what you are experiencing is an important first step toward feeling better.

Ways to protect your mental health during the holidays

You cannot control every challenge the holiday season brings, but you can take steps to make it more manageable.

1. Give yourself permission to feel what you feel

One of the biggest misconceptions about the holidays is that everyone should be happy. In reality, it is normal to experience a mix of emotions, even during celebrations.

“We’re conditioned to think the holidays are supposed to be like Hallmark movies, so there is a lot of pressure to be extra cheerful,” said Carlene Cardosi, chief operating officer for Rosecrance Behavioral Health. “In reality, we’re just human, and we need to make space for grief and sadness people may be experiencing.”

If you are grieving, feeling anxious, or simply not in the holiday spirit, give yourself permission to acknowledge those feelings without judgment. You do not have to attend every gathering, maintain every tradition, or pretend everything is fine.

Instead, focus on what feels meaningful and manageable for you this year.

2. Prioritize the basics: Sleep, nutrition, and physical activity

When your schedule fills up, self-care is often the first thing to go. Unfortunately, skipping meals, sacrificing sleep, and moving less can make stress harder to manage.

Try to maintain a few healthy routines throughout the season:

• Get enough sleep and keep a consistent bedtime when possible
• Eat balanced meals and stay hydrated
• Find ways to stay active, whether that means walking outdoors, joining a gym, stretching at home, or following an indoor workout
• Make time for breaks between errands, celebrations, and other commitments
• Be mindful of alcohol consumption, which can worsen mood and interfere with sleep

You do not need a perfect routine. Small, consistent habits can help you feel more grounded when everything else feels busy.

3. Set realistic expectations and boundaries

Between gift shopping, travel, family obligations, and social events, it can feel as though there is never enough time or money to do everything.

Remember that you do not have to do it all.

Consider simplifying holiday traditions, setting a realistic spending limit, or declining invitations when you need time to recharge. If certain gatherings or conversations tend to create stress, think ahead about how you can manage those situations.

You might decide to stay for a shorter visit, arrange your own transportation, or take a break when you need one.

It’s OK to say no when you need to. You can care about others while still making time and space for yourself.

4. Make a plan for grief, stress, and recovery triggers

The holidays can bring up painful memories, difficult emotions, or situations that challenge your mental health or substance use recovery.

Planning ahead can help you feel more prepared.

Before the season gets busy, consider what situations might be difficult and identify a few people or resources you can turn to for support. You might connect with a trusted friend, therapist, mentor, or recovery sponsor before attending a gathering.

If you are in recovery from alcohol or drug addiction, consider attending a support meeting, arranging a sober activity, or preparing a response if someone offers you a substance. Online recovery resources and virtual meetings can also help you connect when in-person support is hard to access.

Helpful resources include:

• Faces & Voices of Recovery
• Virtual Narcotics Anonymous meetings
• Alcoholics Anonymous online meeting resources

Reaching out when things get hard can make a real difference. Lean on the people who support you rather than trying to get through everything on your own.

5. Stay connected and talk about how you feel

When life gets stressful, it is easy to withdraw or convince yourself that you should handle everything on your own. But talking to someone can help you process emotions, gain perspective, and feel less isolated.

Reach out to a trusted friend or family member. Consider scheduling time with a mental health professional, especially if you know the holidays are difficult for you.

Even a brief conversation can make a difference.

As Stephen Smith, president of Rosecrance Illinois, explained, talking through stress can help people process what they are experiencing rather than bottling it up.

Connection does not have to mean attending a large gathering. A phone call, a quiet coffee with a friend, a support group, or a walk with someone you trust can provide meaningful connection.

6. Recognize your resilience and find new ways to celebrate

Life rarely unfolds exactly as planned. You may be adjusting to a loss, navigating financial difficulties, managing a mental health challenge, or celebrating the holidays differently than in years past.

Give yourself credit for what you have made it through.

You can honor old traditions while creating new ones that better fit your current circumstances. If a particular holiday activity feels too painful or stressful, it is OK to change it. You might volunteer, spend time outdoors, prepare a favorite meal, connect with someone who understands your experience, or set aside time for reflection.

Resilience means finding ways to keep moving forward while recognizing when you need support.

How to support children and teens during the holidays

Adults are not the only ones who experience holiday stress.

Children and teens may feel overwhelmed by changes in routine, family tension, social expectations, or time away from school.

Because young people may not always know how to explain their emotions, it is important to pay attention to changes in their behavior.

Possible signs of distress include:

• Increased irritability or agitation.
• Withdrawing from friends or family.
• Changes in sleep or eating habits.
• Losing interest in activities they typically enjoy.
• Difficulty managing emotions or handling everyday frustrations.

A change in behavior does not automatically mean a child has a mental health condition. However, significant or persistent changes deserve attention rather than being dismissed as ordinary holiday stress.

Make time to check in with children and teens, listen without judgment, and reassure them that they can talk about difficult feelings. Maintaining predictable routines, offering age-appropriate choices, and making space for downtime can also help.

If concerning changes persist or interfere with daily life, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for guidance.

Holiday blues vs. Seasonal Affective Disorder: What’s the difference?

The holiday blues and seasonal affective disorder (SAD) can share some symptoms, but they are not the same thing.

Holiday blues generally refer to temporary feelings of sadness, loneliness, or stress associated with the holiday season or specific life events. These feelings may improve as the stressor passes or routines return to normal.

Seasonal affective disorder is a form of depression associated with seasonal patterns. For many people, symptoms begin in the fall or winter and improve during the spring, although seasonal patterns can also occur at other times of year.

SAD can involve persistent low mood, reduced energy, changes in sleep or appetite, difficulty concentrating, and loss of interest in activities. It is more than simply feeling down because the days are shorter.

Although some holiday-related distress may pass with time, don’t assume ongoing symptoms will resolve on their own. If sadness, anxiety, or loss of interest persists, worsens, or begins interfering with your daily life, talk with a qualified mental health professional.

Depending on your needs, support may include counseling, changes to daily routines, or other evidence-based treatments. Light therapy may be recommended for some people with seasonal affective disorder, but it is best to discuss appropriate treatment with a healthcare professional.

You don’t have to feel happy every holiday

The holidays can be a mix of emotions. You might enjoy spending time with family and friends while also missing someone who isn’t there, or look forward to certain traditions while feeling overwhelmed by everything else. There’s room for all of it.

Rather than putting pressure on yourself to make the holidays perfect, focus on what feels manageable. Make time for the people and activities that bring you comfort, give yourself permission to step back when you need to, and talk to someone if things feel difficult.

And if the holidays are harder than you expected, that’s OK, too. You don’t have to wait until things feel unmanageable to reach out for support. Rosecrance offers mental health and substance use services for people who need help navigating difficult times. Call 888.928.5278 to learn more.

If you’re thinking about suicide or are in emotional distress, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for free, confidential support.